How I Tamed My Anger and Irritability

WHEN I learned that my irritability and quick-to-anger stance were caused by my Bipolar Disorder, I slowly made a conscious effort to tame them – for the reason that I didn’t, and still do not, want to be defined by my illness. Awareness is the key and coupled with the desire to improve one’s self and to change for the better, I slowly succeeded in conquering the unsavory attitudes.

My Facebook Timeline, from the time I actively made use of it in the early 2010, is full of my aggressive outbursts and because I am a spontaneous person – not thinking nor pausing when writing a post – I was freely expressing my anger or disgust for just about anything.

One example I can give you is the following:

January 16, 2015 at 7:57am ยท

Am back, folks! As mentioned, you will still witness the “now you see me, now you don’t” while I try to manage my mental illness. Not that I already have so much other health concerns to manage, but that’s my life, so I say: “Bring them on!”
Went to St. Paul’s Hospital in Iloilo City with Waleed yesterday for a scheduled blood extraction for the needed RFT (renal function test) prior to CT scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvis. I was already experiencing an on and off foul mood days prior and the long travel along the circuitous road in the mountains of Antique added more to lower my hard-to-handle stable state.
I got pissed off by the hospital’s so-called protocol I ended up cancelling the CT scan scheduled for tomorrow! I understand enough that as a patient, I have to follow the protocol, but my foul mood got the better of me and not even Waleed can change my mind when I am in that mood!
It started with the technician’s casual asking if I am allergic to something. I said I have allergic rhinitis and am taking an antihistamine tablet daily. And added that when I eat too much clams (shell) I will exhibit some form of an allergy. He then said that, as per protocol, I will need clearance from a doctor, of which Waleed said that it is not necessary citing that I have been undergoing CT scans in the past 14 years and no incident ever! I saw the hesitation on the technician’s face so I said forget about that I said I am allergic to clam! I now claim I have NO allergy at all – with my loud impatient voice! He left and went to his superior and soon I was ushered inside the CT Imaging office.
Same protocol was emphasized and I said I am willing to sign any paper attesting to the fact that I take full responsibility for whatever bad effects the CT scan will give me. No waiver, in this particular case, the lady head said. I have to see a doctor and get a clearance, she insisted!
Oh yeah? And how would the doctor, tell me, establish that I have allergy to clams or to any other food? Look, I said, we just arrived from a long travel from Antique and I would want to go back the soonest. Can we just please settle this amicably and get done with it the fastest way possible? Her look said NO! And she was sure surprised when I stood up and shouted!
“Why, are you giving me clams prior to the CT scan? To hell with the CT scan!” Then I left and banged the door!

About Author

Freda Editha O. Contreras
Writing is a God-given talent which I try to utilize the good way. I used it as a means to earn a living, my very first job after graduating from college, when I got hired as an Information Writer by the Provincial Government of Antique through Governor Enrique A. Zaldivar in January 1982. By profession, I am a Registered Nurse, and was only able to practice it when I got recruited to work in a private hospital in Kuwait. This was in November 1987 and since then I have been living in Kuwait, now retired since June 2002. Because of my knack in writing I got hired in 1994 to write for Kuwait Times and later became an Editor of 'Pinoy News' a weekly supplement of KT. In March 1996 I published the very first independent Filipino newspaper in Kuwait and the Gulf bannered as Pinoy Expat News or PEN. The paper lasted for only 10 weekly issues. This was followed by another publication and came out first as an insert of an ad paper and later as a separate tabloid. I used then 'Pinoy News' as it was my idea the first time it was used for Kuwait Times. This again failed and produced only three weekly issues. I then turned to the Internet and in 1999 I got hired as a Contributing Editor of Suite101.com, a writers' portal on the web. The last of my articles was published December 31, 2002 but my topic 'Overseas Filipino Workers' was still visible until January 2006. All the 38 articles I wrote have been compiled into a book which I published in August 2007. I discovered blogging in 2006 but was not really serious about my writing. I wrote according to my whim. Having this blog under my own domain name is now a welcome development and I plan to concentrate again in writing. As is commonly said: "A writer will always be a writer." http://fredacontreras.com/

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